Archive | May, 2019

When life gives you Lemons…..

15 May

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

This maxim has been around for a long long time and nothing wrong with that. It reminds us of the benefits of an optimistic, can do attitude in the face of adversity.

The nagging question that keeps coming to mind is –  why should we always attempt to change an unpleasant situation into something more acceptable, why shouldn’t we just stay with the discomfort?

Life is complicated and has its share of painful situations. Most of the time we are not just handed lemons but pelted at with lemons when we least expect it. Making lemonade may not even be possible.

‘Stay with It ‘is what I’ve learnt. This doesn’t mean lying there helplessly wallowing in self pity; instead it means moving along in life with the lemons by your side. This extra appendage may be heavy, cumbersome, cause you to move slower, or even force you to change course, but keep going.

Stinkers aka lemons come in varied shapes and forms. They could be work related or personal that lift up their ugly heads and punch you real hard. Undoubtedly your initial reaction is shock, anger and even panic. Calm down, Hang in there, Place a hand on your heart and breathe. Cry if you feel like but know deep down that you will survive. Talk to someone you trust

Over time, you will notice that the sourness of the lemons will wax and wane over days, weeks and months. The despair that you feel during those difficult times is not constant and yes you will learn to handle them.

There is no rush to have all the answers on how to deal with them.

Pause. Keep moving, doing the things that you need to do in everyday life. When painful reminders of your loss throws you off balance remember that these feelings are normal.

Indulge in something that relaxes you.

Am I saying that this would make the elephant in the room go away – Absolutely not. Your mind may be filled with numerous thoughts. Stay with them. I’ve found that it helps to write down your thoughts and decide to pick the best option a few days later. These are all the ‘along the way stops’ as you slowly move past the pain you feel now. The best you can do is to accommodate the discomfort you feel into your life trajectory for now, and move forward with all the grace and gratitude this fragile you can muster. Navigating through pain can no doubt dent us but it also has the scope to shape us into a stronger version of ourselves.

By and by you will roll up the strength and objectivity to assess these lemons, choose whether you want to make lemonade, flavor your cake with its rind or simply throw it in the garbage. Its entirely your prerogative. You have the insider’s track to how you feel. You are the expert on your lemons.

So with due respects to this maxim – I don’t think it applies in every situation. When life gives you a lemon – you toss it into a basket and carry it around until you decide what you want to do with it.