Making Memories

4 Oct

Memory is a potent thing. It can bring a smile on an otherwise gloomy day or send you down a spiral of negative thoughts. It brings laughter and sometimes tears. It fills us with anger and sometimes induces fear. A familiar smell, an old school building, the ringing of bells all have the potential to send you down a path of both sadness and joy.

The good times we’ve had, our accomplishments etc all get stored as ‘core memories’ deep down in the vast realm of our long term memories.

Memories shape our preferences and beliefs. They serve as a guide in the present and go on to shape future experiences. Our attitude and perception are coloured by them.

Our childhood memories stay with us- things that brought joy , times when we felt crushed, all maneuver us either into a life filled with passion, joy and growth or one smeared with guilt, blame and unhappiness.

If these souvenirs of the past play such an important part in our present ,it is only natural to ask ourselves as parents and caregivers this one question- ‘ what kind of memories are we creating for our children? Which echoes are they stocking up in their vast repertoire of memories?

Creating memories with our children means being with them in the moment and giving them our time and undivided attention. No special day or no special occasion is needed …..just a typical day doing all the predictable stuff can sometimes be etched in our children’s minds forever.

As I look back I am reminded of the quiet pillow talks I had with my mom before I fell asleep, the diligence with which we sang hymns before dinner, the countless games of snakes and ladders we played, Cheering for our cricket team while gorging on moms banana fritters ….all of which helped create memorable moments which sustained me through the years.

Even today when I meet my sister our favourite line is undoubtedly…’Do you remember the time we ………..’

One doesn’t need a lot of money for these ‘Do you remember’ moments. All one needs is a desire to intentionally make an effort to set up fun things to do with your child.

A bit of imagination mixed with love, kindness and patience will help us gift our children  a rich tapestry of experiences  from which they can draw upon  whenever they need to.

 

 

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