Debunking the myth

9 Aug



It was  undoubtedly the best day of her life. Nysha  beamed with happiness as she held onto Rays hand. It was quite a while since I had  seen such a  happy  couple  as they flitted around meeting guests , intermittently gazing at one another in complete devotion.

“You  look lovely” said someone holding Nyshas hand .  She blushed  and leaning towards Ray said …”.i feel so good ; he completes me “.

I  stood  still , feeling a bit unsettled within me.   While what she said sounded romantic , t it sounded like a perfect  ingredient for disaster.

Why would a person need another to  feel complete  …. sounds absurd  and unrealistic to me.  ….isnt being complete an inside job ?

A Partner  to do things with ; to make life  happier ; to be able to chat with …all perfectly understandable  ….but  complete the other !!!! That I thought was a lot of pressure on ones partner.

Most people go through life carrying the myth that somewhere out there they will find their special someone …and then life will be complete

Why do we begin a  marriage by trying to find some missing part ? Marriage does bring companionship and a certain wholeness in  certain areas  but  the idea that any one person can complete another  raises a red flag.

I believe that we are born whole and complete. We are meant to have lived in this wholeness all along . Somewhere along the way if this wholeness was lost – its up to us to restore ourselves before we pick a partner.

Two incomplete people don’t make a happy whole ……they  end up as two unhappy  individuals in a miserable relationship .

A partner merely enhances  our life , ‘supplement’ maybe is the word.   In no way completes it. Its only when we feel  complete by ourselves , love ourselves , enjoy our  own solitude and  anothers  company – then we have  a great relationship.

Our lives are so much more larger than romantic relationships .  It’s the ‘you complete me ‘ that  makes many women  flinch at the thought of a divorce or breakup or even choosing to stay single.

As I stepped up to congratulate the couple I found myself wishing Nysha along with togetherness and happiness  a lot of  ‘solo’ time to love and nurture herself.

At no point do I advocate a single life—its  great to find  that someone with whom you enjoy the journey of life ……………….  but  its only when we  take a step forward as a whole and complete person can we that we  create a strong and fulfilling relationship


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