Archive | August, 2014

Wide Angle Lenses – Broadening Perspectives

31 Aug

This morning i was  jerked out of bed by  a series of doorbells .  Leaping out of bed  I rushed  with one eye still shut  – just a minute did I mention that my one eye juz refused to open . Okay so theres this me taking in the world around me with one eye. Not bad I thought ….i didn’t think I missed out on anything . Splashing water onto my face I slowly opened both eyes and looked around. I pretty much saw the same things ; but the image was richer and more beautiful.

 I have to write about this I thought – life with both eyes open.

 One can walk through life for ages  with a narrow vision of the world; believing in our fixed ways of thinking  until one day – Voila …the lens through which you viewed the world has beautifully widened.  It’s an amazing feeling  . Suddenly there is so much more to life.

 Some of us get our eureka  breakthrough during  everyday mundane tasks . while others fall hard before they figure things out.

But then there is this tricky thing about breakthroughs :  u just cant go on living the way you have been doing – your thoughts change ; life around you gets different . What mattered before does not matter anymore… there is an internal pressure that gently but surely spurs you towards change. 

But this change – it isn’t easy .  You need to let go of what you have been holding onto ,  the familiar , the one that’s already won approval of others.

And so for now I will soak in this revelation;  remind myself of it everyday . I have to keep it alive , Sustain it ;  I need to  steadily eliminate all the things that cloud this new vision.

Here i am , embracing this new  quantum leap my mind has made.

Now that I have seen a whole new dimension  to the things I thought were meant to be in a certain fashion………. I  am living in a new world…A world that will bring me deeper fulfillment.

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Debunking the myth

9 Aug

 

 

It was  undoubtedly the best day of her life. Nysha  beamed with happiness as she held onto Rays hand. It was quite a while since I had  seen such a  happy  couple  as they flitted around meeting guests , intermittently gazing at one another in complete devotion.

“You  look lovely” said someone holding Nyshas hand .  She blushed  and leaning towards Ray said …”.i feel so good ; he completes me “.

I  stood  still , feeling a bit unsettled within me.   While what she said sounded romantic , t it sounded like a perfect  ingredient for disaster.

Why would a person need another to  feel complete  …. sounds absurd  and unrealistic to me.  ….isnt being complete an inside job ?

A Partner  to do things with ; to make life  happier ; to be able to chat with …all perfectly understandable  ….but  complete the other !!!! That I thought was a lot of pressure on ones partner.

Most people go through life carrying the myth that somewhere out there they will find their special someone …and then life will be complete

Why do we begin a  marriage by trying to find some missing part ? Marriage does bring companionship and a certain wholeness in  certain areas  but  the idea that any one person can complete another  raises a red flag.

I believe that we are born whole and complete. We are meant to have lived in this wholeness all along . Somewhere along the way if this wholeness was lost – its up to us to restore ourselves before we pick a partner.

Two incomplete people don’t make a happy whole ……they  end up as two unhappy  individuals in a miserable relationship .

A partner merely enhances  our life , ‘supplement’ maybe is the word.   In no way completes it. Its only when we feel  complete by ourselves , love ourselves , enjoy our  own solitude and  anothers  company – then we have  a great relationship.

Our lives are so much more larger than romantic relationships .  It’s the ‘you complete me ‘ that  makes many women  flinch at the thought of a divorce or breakup or even choosing to stay single.

As I stepped up to congratulate the couple I found myself wishing Nysha along with togetherness and happiness  a lot of  ‘solo’ time to love and nurture herself.

At no point do I advocate a single life—its  great to find  that someone with whom you enjoy the journey of life ……………….  but  its only when we  take a step forward as a whole and complete person can we that we  create a strong and fulfilling relationship