My Mom – A Never Ending Song

9 May


With Mothers day round the corner I found myself browsing through rows of greeting cards . Picking the right card for my mum seemed a futile exercise coz the cards there created an unrealistic, oversimplified distortion of a mother’s efforts and love. None of them seemed to fit my mom.

Mom- The word fills me with mixed feelings.

Mom and I shared a bitter –sweet relationship all through my growing years.

Keeping pace with my ‘wings’ during adolescence while battling grey hair and the inevitable menopause must have been nerve racking for her. Guess my attitude did give her many a sleepless night as well.

The one thing I saw her do every morning and evening was cook. The emphasis she laid on having a warm home cooked meal (something I wasn’t very happy about then) with family is something I have followed as a tradition with great satisfaction.

She made me walk for miles …..she would lead the way and both my sister and I  had to run to keep pace with her…….for most times I felt like a bushman in the Kalahari; but today I have to admit that I owe my fitness and stamina to those mini marathons.

Mum never painted her nails or styled her hair. I have never seen her worry about aging or calloused feet or rough cuticles. To her being natural was being beautiful.

She was never afraid to reach out to people. We never walked a mile without stopping to talk to people- she would inquire of their health and assure them of her love and prayers. Much to my dad’s exasperation our home was always open to the known and the unknown people she encountered somewhere in her journey through life.

With varicose veins bobbing about she went about her daily chores and taught me my survival mantra- “You ought to do ….what you got to do”

Mom always had the firm belief that God was concerned with every little thing that happened to us. Her unwavering faith in the Almighty is what makes me see Gods handiwork in every detail of my life.

Her anger was legendary which she exercised freely as part of her expression of parental duty. I didn’t realize it then but today I know where my resilience comes from as I navigate  the choppy waters of life..

There were days fraught with tense moments…..but there was a kind of freedom in knowing that though not all things could be repaired , everything could be survived.

On days when I feel that I have been swimming against waves that are bigger, stronger, fiercer than me which move without any regard to what its effect may have on me…………….I think of Mom and the outward grace and serenity with which she moved slowly and surely through life ……always looking outside of herself and making sure her family was fine. Strength I concluded doesn’t have to be belligerent and loud.

Her example has been the most constant influence in my life. She isn’t perfect (nobody is, or expected to be)…. But what stands out most is her love and commitment towards her family and people at large.

That kind of love is Real and Big…………..It leaves me feeling encouraged and empowered.





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